


Give Me All The Time Until Christmas ... And Then A Little Bit More

by HamishHolmes



Series: 2014 Christmas A - Zs [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-27 18:58:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2702927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HamishHolmes/pseuds/HamishHolmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a Christmas A - Z based on Bones and Jim's relationship. Each chapter will be based on a word prompt and be set in a different AU. It'll update daily until the 25th when, as a special gift, I'll upload two. "Remember not all gifts have to be good; it's the thought that counts.)</p><p>Other Relationships / characters will be added as they appear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ANNOYED

Bones was worried. This was not a nice feeling for someone whose default setting was grumpy, but he was feeling it all the same.

Usually on the night before Christmas Eve, Bones would be fast asleep and awaiting the missed video-call on Christmas Eve from Jo and Jocelyn, then he’d drink himself into a stupor and fall asleep in his chair until he was woken by an overenthusiastic Jim on Christmas morning.

But right now, he couldn’t start this yearly cycle because he was worried.

Jim had left the dorm in the late afternoon, with no words, but a mumble of ‘I’ll see you later’ and a slight wave of the hand. Bones had no doubt that his friend was hitting the bars, downing whole bottles of vodka (that man had alcohol tolerance like no one else he’d ever met). He just needed to be awake when he came home.

 _If he came home_ said a treacherous part of his brain, _after all, he doesn’t even live here._

Bones shook his head, trying to clear it. Of course Jim thought of this place as his own. After all, he’d spent hours, days, here enjoying Bones’ company and infuriating him to no end.

The clock ticked, seconds passing until they turned into minutes which dragged into hours.

Bones moved, tidying and cleaning. Eventually he ran out of things to do and sat back down in his chair, tapping out nervous energy on his thighs.

It was 1am when Jim finally staggered through the door. Bones stood up to catch him and got a closer look at his friend. What he had at first assumed to be alcohol induced clumsiness was actually pain-induced.

The man was a wreck. Blood covered his face and dribbled off his chin, splashing onto the floor by his feet. There were bruises littered across what little skin wasn’t broken.

“Dammit kid!” said Bones, helping the man over to the sofa.

“It’s nothing Bones,” said Jim, collapsing onto the couch.

“Bullshit.”

Bones hurried across to the medical cupboard on the wall and pulled out a box. Bones put his (not yet as legendary as they one day would be) hands on Jim’s shoulders and Jim looked up.

Gentle fingers caressed an antiseptic wipe across Jim’s broken skin and the blood on his chin. Jim winced and whined slightly.

“Jim, if we don’t clean these up, then you’ll get a disease from whatever barfly bounced your skull around like a basketball.”

Bones was fighting to keep his fury from boiling over and spilling out of his mouth. All the while, as he patched up Jim, he kept his comments to one sentence or less so that his anger was contained.

He ran his thumb over the new skin on Jim’s cheek.

“There,” he said tersely, stepping away and packing his equipment back into the box.

“Bones, what have I done?” said Jim, catching Bones’ wrist in his hand.

“What d’you mean kid?” asked Bones, not looking at him.

“I mean, why are you so angry?” said Jim, not letting go.

Bones tensed.

 _Obviously I’m not as good at hiding feelings as I thought,_ he thought, annoyed that Jim had seen right through him.

“I’m not angry, Jim,” said Bones, voice as flat as he could make it.

“We both know that’s not true, Bones.”

“Fine,” said Bones, turning and lifting his wrist from Jim’s grip as the last of his reserve evaporated, “I’m angry.”

“Why?”

“Because of you!” Bones yelled.

Jim shrank back, clearly hurt.

“You are and absolute idiot. You leave mid-afternoon and I don’t know if you’ll be coming back drunk or smashed up. Or even if you’ll be coming back at all. I have to sit here, waiting for you to come home, not knowing if I’ll even be able to patch you up this time.”

Jim had leaned back and was no longer looking at Bones.

“I’m bloody terrified that one day, you’re not going to come home and I’ll have to go to class the next day and someone’ll come in and say, ‘Can I speak to a … Doctor McCoy?’ and I’ll have to stand up and leave to hear that you’ve killed yourself, or something equally stupid and that I’ll have to go on without you. Or worse, that no-one’ll think to tell me and I’ll have to hear about it from Uhura or somebody.”

Jim looked close to tears and Bones felt his anger starting to slip away.

“But that’s why I’m scared, not why I’m angry. I’m angry because some bastard somewhere along the line told you that you’re only good as a punch-bag. And that’s bollocks. It makes me so angry that you think you deserve a beating or that it shows you that someone cares. I’m angry because someone taught you that’s how people show love, but it’s not.”

Jim looked absolutely astonished as Bones collapsed onto the couch next to him.

“That’s not how you show love,” muttered Bones again, letting his head fall back against the wall.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jim’s disagreement plastered all over his face.

“It’s not,” he said, turning to face Jim fully.

The disbelief didn’t fade and suddenly, Bones had an overwhelming desire to show Jim just how you showed love.

He leant forwards and took Jim’s shoulders. He leaned in further, but slowly, giving Jim a chance to move away if he wanted to, until he was just a hair’s-breadth away from Jim.  
Then he surged forwards and kissed Jim, lips moving soft and slow against Jim’s. His hands fell to Jim’s waist and Jim moaned slightly into the kiss. Bones pulled away, gently so that just the tips of their noses were still touching.

“I love you, kid.”

Bons sat back, leaving Jim staring back at him.

“That’s how you let slip to your best friend that you love him when all you’re trying to do is show him that he’s not as worthless as everyone always tells him he is,” Bones rambled, “so if you want me, I’ll be in your dorm room, since you seem to have claimed this place as your own.”

A light push against his lips stopped him. Jim’s kiss was kind and gentle and just a little bit unsure.

That night, as they lay wrapped around each other, Jim began to doubt those nagging voices in his head. Maybe he was worth something. Maybe he didn’t deserve it. Maybe … maybe now that he had Bones, he’d finally know what love felt like.


	2. BIAS

Jim thought that Bones was the best husband ever.

He thought this as Bones gave Uhura her present, baby propped on one hip, a steady hand holding it there, the other proffering the present and a sincere ‘I hope you like it,’ dropping in his southern accent from his lips.

He thought it as he watched Bones help Spock reach the presents out from behind the tree, where they had been left, denim covered butt wiggling in the air. He was watching a bit too closely in fact, but so was Carol, Spock’s wife, so he didn’t mind so much.

He thought it as he watched Bones showed people to the table and helped pass bowls up and down, never once complaining when people asked for things to be passed, though his hands barely made it to his knife and fork.

He thought it as he watched Bones drinking the beers he was presented with until they were all drunk. And when he accepted the invitation from Carol to play strip poker, his shirt coming off in the first round.

He thought it as he watched the muscles ripple on his still shirtless back as he waved goodbye to the others.

He thought it as Bones pushed him down onto the bed when everyone else had gone and kissed him silly.

Jim thought Bones was the best husband ever, but then again, he was biased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, due to illness and deadlines, I have fallen behind (in the first three days!) but I plan to catch up at the weekend, if not before. Please bear with me.


	3. COMPLETE

Jim was lounging in the dorm room which he shared with Bones, PADD in hand when Bones came in. Jim didn’t look up, or acknowledge his arrival past a grunted greeting; their dorm room had become a hub for their friends because of its close proximity to both the campus and the pub, so he was used to people coming and going. There were piles of Carol’s folders and Spock’s notes in one corner and Uhura’s revision sheets pinned up on their walls. He liked it, after all, he never had a proper family when he was younger and it was nice to be reminded of his family everywhere he looked, to be reminded that he wasn’t alone. 

“Ehm,” coughed Bones, clearing his throat. 

Jim looked up to find Leonard stood holding a bag and looking kind of sad. 

“What is it?” he asked, “we’re not going away are we? I didn’t forget something we said we do, did I?” 

“No, Jim,” said Bones, “you’re not going anywhere.” 

“What do you mean?” asked Jim, putting his PADD down fully and looking at Bones. 

“Jim…” began bones, but he trailed off, thoughts stopping his tongue, “I’m graduating.” 

“I know,” said Jim, “we both are, next semester.” 

“No Jim.” 

Jim frowned. 

“What do you mean no? That was always the plan.” 

“Plans have changed Jim,” said Bones, “I took extra classes, so I can graduate early.” 

“What?!” yelled Jim, leaping to his feet, “Why?” 

“I have to get out into the working world.” 

“Get away from me more like,” snapped Jim, “just like dad and mum and everyone else I’ve ever lo–” 

Jim stopped, not wanting Bones to hear the last word, not wanting to be seen as trying to manipulate him into staying, even though what he really wanted to do was tie him down and tell him he could never leave. 

Hadn’t that been the plan? Weren’t they going to stay friends forever? Even though Jim wanted more, he had been content with the thought that at least his best friend would always be there for him as that. 

But now he wasn’t. 

“Jim!” 

Jim’s eyes swept back to Bones’ face. 

“Were you listening?” said the older man, rubbing one hand over his face. 

“No,” said Jim simply, “I wasn’t.” 

“I was saying that I have to get out into the working world because all of my grant money has run out and I can’t afford another semester at college,” Bones took a deep breath, “it was either graduate early, or not at all.” 

All of Jim’s anger ebbed away, leaving him feeling merely empty, a way he had hoped never to feel again after his mother left for the final time. 

“Then go,” Bones looked like he was going to speak again, “JUST GO!” 

Bones picked up his bag and left, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

Jim flung himself down onto the bed and sobbed, feeling the tears soaking into the mattress beneath him and not caring at all. He felt robbed and cheated and abandoned. Just when he thought that maybe he wasn’t broken, that maybe he was cared about, maybe he was wanted, maybe, dare he think it, he was even loved, this happened. 

Of course it did, said an inner part of his brain everyone leave; they all stop loving you eventually. You’re just too broken. 

Jim screamed and punched at the wall, over and over until his hands were bleeding and he was panting heavily. 

Jim was crying on the floor when Uhura came in to grab some folders, but she noticed the state that Jim was in and stopped. 

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, sitting down next to him. 

"Bones is gone." 

Uhura put her arms around his shoulders and squeezed. 

"You idiot," she said, "you big dumb idiot." 

Jim looked up at her, tears in his eyes. 

"Bones is not leaving the city or anything," said Uhura, "you are over reacting. Bones is literally living twenty minutes away and I'm pretty sure that he'll be here all the time anyway. At least, he would have been if you hadn't pushed." 

Jim looked like he was about to cry again. 

"Patch yourself up and go and see him."


	4. DRINK

The bar was cold and empty on Christmas day, because everyone was in their homes, enjoying a day in with their families, the kind which you don’t get any other day of the year. The wind was howling outside, blowing snow across the city, as all sensible people stayed inside their houses, sitting by the fire.

The fourth empty pint glass hit the bar and the man sat curled there asked for another pint.

“Mate,” said the barman, “are you sure you shouldn’t go home?”

“Where’s home?” said the blond, sitting up slightly straighter, “there is no place called home for me anymore.”

“Are you okay?” said the barkeeper, “you don’t look too great.”

“Look, just give me a pint of beer and a vodka chaser,” said Jim, leaning his arms back against the bar and letting his head fall onto his arms.

“You should really go home.”

“Look, don’t you understand?” said Jim, pain echoing in his voice, “I have no home. I have merely a house that I occasionally sleep in, when I can’t find a pub with a barman who will serve me and not ask questions.

Jim collapsed again, sorry for the bar keeper and yet unwilling to apologise. After all, since Bones was gone, there was no one to force him to apologise. He had no reason for existence, and yet here he was, still existing.  
He had sent Bones down to that asteroid with the torpedo and Carol Marcus and it was his fault that when the warhead exploded, he couldn’t beam Bones back up. They had only just managed to get Carol Marcus back on board, but Bones was scattered to the four winds, lost forever in space on the back of the asteroid.

Jim had kept going then, keeping his back ramrod straight as he forced his aching body through the motions of captaining the enterprise, but the minute they hit Earth he was off. There was no reprise from the pain that engulfed him at all times, the pain caused by killing your best friend.

His best friend whom he loved, though he had never told him, and he had let him die. He had watched on the vis-screen and let him die. Jim downed the next pint and the chaser.

“And again,” he muttered, “keep them coming until I’m on the floor and I’ve stopped breathing.”

The bartender shook his head and got back to polishing his glasses, pouring another pint as he did.

Jim drank again until his brain was buzzing.

Eventually, Uhura appeared in the door of the bar and dragged the unconscious Jim back to his house.


	5. EARTH

“Ah, Earth,” said Jim, putting his feet down onto the cool mud of San Francisco and smiled around, “what are you doing for Christmas?”

He turned to Bones and looked at him, waiting for his answer.

“I’m going back to Georgia to see Jo and Jocelyn,” said Bones, “well, really I’m going back to see Jo.”

“Oh,” said Jim, though Bones could hear the slight disappointment in his voice.

“Would you like to come and meet Jo?” asked Bones, “I’m sure that they would love to meet you.”

“Really?” asked Jim, his face breaking out into a big smile, “that would be great, if you don’t mind, otherwise, I’m just heading back to the academy for Christmas.”

“Come on,” said Bones, grabbing Jim’s hand and tugging him forwards, “let’s go.”

***

They arrived on Jocelyn’s doorstep, bags in hand to find that she had downsized, since she told bones that she could easily accommodate them both for Christmas.

“You can share a room, right Len?” she said, “no bother, right?”

“Of course,” said Leonard, “Jim and I don’t mind sharing, do we?”

“Not at all,” said Jim, “I’m just glad not to be alone on Christmas this year.”

Jocelyn’s face fell slightly, but she recovered admirably, “well, you can come back any time you like.”

“Thank you very much,” said Jim.

“DADDY!” came a cry from behind, and a little girl barrelled forwards past the lady at the door and grabbed hold of her daddy’s legs.

“Hey, Jo-bear,” said Bones, putting his bag down and lifting his daughter up into his arms.

Jim picked up his friends bag and watched as his best friend chatted away to his little girl.

Jim had never seen the man so happy, but he really hoped that he would again.

“Who’s that, Daddy?” said Jo in a low half-whisper, peering over Bones’ shoulder at Jim.

“I’m Jim,” said Jim, leaning forwards and peering back at her, “and I’ve come to share Christmas with you, if that’s okay with you.”

“Hello, Mr Jim,” said Joanna, “I would really like you to stay. Are you the Jim that Daddy talks about when we call?”

Bones sighed slightly, “Yes, Joanna, that’s Jim.”

“Thank you for looking after Daddy when you are away in space.”

“You are welcome,” said Jim, “thank you for looking after him when he’s at home.”

Joanna smiled and leapt down to the floor and headed off to the kitchen.

“Come on,” said Bones, “I’ll show you where our room is.”

Bones seemed to fit into the new role of father and ex-husband very well, and Jim was enjoying everything Bones did, loving his friend and his happiness.

When they got to the room at the top of the house, it transpired that there was only a double bed. Jim merely pulled a face and sat down on one side of the bed, tugging off his face and slipping his feet into his slippers, watching as Bones did the same thing.

They headed back downstairs to see Joanna and they chatted away, to Jo, who was very excited to meet Jim, who was equally excited to meet the little girl whom Bones always talked about.

When their shore leave was over, Jim’s hug was nearly as tight as Bones’.

“Come back safe,” said Jo as they left, and Bones smiled, ignoring the slight tears in Jim’s eyes as they left Jo waving on the front step.


	6. FALL

Bones loved autumn. He loved the way the leaves crunched beneath his feet as he walked along the street, humming underneath his breath. He loved collecting conkers, like he was a five year old child again, and watching the trees change colour as they headed out of summer. He loved the way that the cold weather caused his breath to cloud in the air. He also loved the he could start wearing large fluffy jumpers and boots wherever he went without looking silly.

Bones loved autumn because he could start getting an early morning coffee when it was still dark as if he were buying it at midnight when the world was silent.

He liked that it got dark early so that he could close the curtains and shut out the world, focusing on his own life, but the moment that autumn began to turn to winter, Bones’ usual grumpy mood was back in full force.

Jim loved winter. He loved the way the snow crunched beneath his feet as he walked along the pavement, singing Christmas songs under his breath, or out loud, depending on his mood. He loved building snowmen again, like a five year old child, and he loved stealing and ‘borrowing’ clothes from friends and neighbours to hang on his snowmen like trophies of battles won. He loved the fact that the freezing weather meant that as he walked, he slipped and slid across the pavement, feet struggling to find grip on the icy surface. He also loved the novelty Christmas jumpers, ties, socks and shirts that hit the shops and the fashion trends (not that he didn’t wear his all year round just to annoy Bones).

Jim loved winter because he could start getting cinnamon spiced drinks without getting weird looks from baristas who were working the early shift at Costa.

He liked that he could turn on the Christmas tree lights and forget how dark the world beyond them was. But he moment the lights were down, he was out searching for another bar fight, desperate to quell the pain that once again radiated through his body.


End file.
